I’ve been trying to get Steve to sail the ocean with me for a couple
of years now. Back in the Original Puffin days (circa 1993) Steve
tried his hand at Long Island wave sailing, shortly after which he
coined the phrase “the twelve hundred dollar wheel” describing being tumbled end over end whilst the wave destroyed $1.2K worth of
windsurfing equipment. He had his butt kicked.
Then a few years ago I began to sail the ocean, and got my ass kicked too,
again and again and again and again. And again! But thanks to Jon,
Scott, the Wolf, Bill etc providing helpful guidance ("don't sail onto the beach…you're gonna break your neck" was an early favorite) I have managed to ascend above total incompetence. So when Scott declared Ditch Plains as the site of Saturday's session to be, I was excited to bring Steve. I've only ever windsurfed Ditch Plains once, but it was so clean, so well behaved, with such an accommodating wave, that I felt confident Steve's bay sailing chops would be more than sufficient for him to have a fantastic time. As we headed east together I kept calling Steve on his cell, cooing about smooth, friendly, inviting waters.
We arrived, and immediately walked out on the beach to take in conditions. "Yeah, this is great," Steve said.
I was horrified. This was not the Ditch I'd sailed. Side on SSW conditions (5.2-5.6 sails) had turned it into a gnarly obstacle course…sort of like Ponquogue throwing a hissy fit. It was going to be good fun for me and the other guys there for the sesh (Bruce, CD, Scott and the Wolf) but Steve…um…this was less than optimal for him.
"I'm so glad I'm doing this!" Steve said as he rigged up.
Between the waves and the current and the flukey inside winds and the sweeping side waves Steve had several adventures getting 3/4 of the way out. Yes he got worked, but so did the rest of us (I had my longest swim-after-gear of the year.) And he's mad stoked about his next wave adventure! I kept thinking he was going to punch me in the nose for sweet-talking him into this abuse.
(Top: Scott and Bruce make sense of the madness. Middle: Steve wonders what the heck I was talking about…"friendly and smoothe?" Bottom: The editor threads a path. Photos from the session by Peconic Jeff. P.S. I tried to come up with a Halloween-Wolf bit, but the results were worse than my usual drivel. So consider yourself spared!)
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